Recently, I took a glance at the side of one of my favorite magazines, which was resting on my coffee table. I had never noticed quotes on the side of this magazine before, and this one seemed both timely and ironic to me. This magazine revolves around cooking, cleaning, fashion, and reading. They don’t talk about radical things too often, and advocate buying $500 pairs of jeans. I enjoy this magazine because it is a getaway, a relaxation away from it all or the possible stressful reality I am in at the time I choose to savor it. I don’t intend or expect for it to be a reality check.
But this day it was.
The quote reads, “A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are for.”– Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper
I have pondered this quote for a while, wondering why it struck me so significantly, so profoundly. I don’t have a clear answer, but I do know that, while I love the life I’m living, and yes, even the hard days, I wonder if I am becoming too safe, to comfortable. You see, I’m a girl who has the two sides of a coin both in her soul: I love the idea of reckless, abandoned adventure and jumping in faith to see where God will show up, AND I love cozy cuddle nights, watching movies, in our nicely decorated home, without much risk at all.
This is my paradox. And I don’t know what to do.
I truly believe that we are meant to get out of what is comfortable, in order to be extraordinary, or even just useful. And my idyllic self tells me that I want to not only be useful in this world, but be a game changer here. So why is it that when I am inspired to action, when I feel moved to jumping, typically it results in me coming home after work and sleeping, or cleaning, or being here. It doesn’t involve my radical notions, and I don’t really believe anyone would look at my life and say, “she is changing stuff, for Christ.” I have my passions, and I have my loves, but how much of it is talk, without the action behind it?
I don’t want to be discontented for the sake of it, and I don’t want to jump when I’m not meant to, but where/when does the point come when I’m not seeing what God has in store for me, because I am not looking, and therefore, I’m missing God’s very purpose for my existence here. OR how many times do I miss the little moments, the little radicals, because I’m too busy looking for that one defining moment or decision that will change the course of everything?
This post might be a bit of rambling, but these are the things I process. And I don’t just want to process and not do anything. I want to be a life that Christ uses to shape the world, like the people I admire. Not that it needs to be big scale, and trust me, I know that I don’t have the strength to do it on my own. But I would like to know that my words are being supported by my actions. Does anybody else feel this? Does anybody else want this too?