So here’s the thing. I’m getting married. I’m not just engaged, not just a fiance. I am going to be a wife very soon. I’m ready for the ups and downs, the “til death do us part.” I’m ready for the “living life together.” I’m ready.
But here’s the thing. I’m not ready for what being a wife really means. I have no idea what I am getting into when it comes to being a wife in a God headed household. And to be honest, Proverbs 31 sounds a little exhausting. Yes, I am so ridiculously excited to be embarking on this journey, and no, fear and anxiety are not clouding my thinking. I am looking at the reality of what I am committing to as a woman who will honor and fear the Lord and who will support and encourage her husband in the endeavors we embark upon together.
Already, I am finding that Dan and I are so independent, that it will be interesting to once and for all mesh our lives. I am strong-willed (since forever) and Dan is stubborn. But the thing is that in marriage, we need to love the other more than ourselves, our ideas, our dreams, our everything. I wish I could say that I’m good at this, but I recognize that I am such a selfish person in everyday life.
I recognize that if our marriage is not strongly rooted in Christ, then we will not find any satisfaction in anything we attempt to do, independently or together. I wish that I could say I know Christ so well, so deeply, that I unmistakably hear his whispers and follow his ways. I wish that I could say that Dan and I treated one another as Christ and the Church as we are called to do. I recognize that Satan desires to weave between us, so that Christ cannot be seen in and through us. Our deepest desire is to serve Christ with our lives and we believe that we are meant to do that internally within our marriage and externally among the world. I just haven’t figured out yet what that looks like for me. As a wife. As a woman.
Thank God for the beautiful women He has placed in my life to model what this looks like. So I would appreciate your sincere prayers (and any advice that you feel like imparting), dear friends, that I may be able to discern exactly what it is my role entails. I pray that I can serve Christ wholeheartedly within this role and I thank God that I have been given a beautiful opportunity to do it with someone so wonderful.
Please watch this video. It’s a beautiful description of what marriage exemplifies.