When He had completed all His discourse in the hearing of the people, He went to Capernaum. And a centurion’s slave, who was highly regarded by him, was sick and about to die. When he heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish elders asking Him to come and save the life of his slave. When they came to Jesus, they earnestly implored Him, saying, “He is worthy for You to grant this to him; for he loves our nation and it was he who built us our synagogue.” Now Jesus started on His way with them; and when He was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends, saying to Him, “Lord, do not trouble Yourself further, for I am not worthy for You to come under my roof; for this reason I did not even consider myself worthy to come to You, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed. “For I also am a man placed under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to this one, ‘Go!’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this!’ and he does it.” Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled at him, and turned and said to the crowd that was following Him, “I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such great faith.” When those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.– Luke 7: 1-10
Wow. My mind is completely spinning, whirling, turning. I for some reason can’t stop hearing and thinking about what it means to have faith. Faith that is ready and willing and unabashedly ready to jump at a moment’s notice. I want this faith. I deeply admire those who have it.
This is not the first time I have spent time ruminating over this topic in my mind, but I feel so convicted right now that my life is so comfortable with the status quo that I don’t know if I have this type of faith. I am realizing that my life is changing so rapidly right now. I am graduating in 5 weeks. I am getting married in 8 months. I honestly don’t have a clue what my life is going to look like 1 year from now, so to say that life is beautifully uncertain, I think would be quite the understatement. Most of me loves this sort of uncertainty, the wonderful anticipation. But some of me is really quite scared that I will fall into a life of comfort and routine so easily, that I will forget what it means to live recklessly and radically for the sake of Jesus.
After reading a blog (http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/), I saw so vividly in front of me the type of faith I want to live by, the type of faith that requires God to show up, because there is no possible way we can handle what we are doing. I saw a woman raising 14 girls in an impoverished part of the world, caring for malnutrition of the body and of the soul, advocating for the unfortunate. This is an example of the life of beautiful insanity I want to live.
I read a book a while ago, Reckless Faith, that has some wonderful thoughts on living wildly in a safe world (written by someone who lives this stuff out). I have been processing these thoughts lately, so I will share…
“Is my faith reckless enough to trust first and think second? Can I grow faith strong enough (like a muscle) that when it has to pick up a heavy reality, I can easily lift it and still have hope?”
“More than any paycheck or possession, what God offers makes me rich, and his strength is more than enough for any work he has prepared in advance for me. I can let go of trying to make it all work, of creating my own kingdom. I can let go of escape routes and back-up plans. I can let go.”
“Sharing my life with Meme has taught me that all my moments can be ministry– eating, cooking, washing, watching children, anything I do beside someone else, for someone else, or with someone else. I’m trying to make ministry and breathing and walking in the Spirit all the same action.”
How do I become so ingrained with Christ that my actions, my walking, my breaths are simply Him. How?? I am wrestling and pondering. I don’t know. I want to be able to drop everything. He is worthy. He doesn’t have to prove Himself, because everyday He shows Himself faithful.
“When Jesus called the disciples, they dropped their nets– their entire lives– and followed him. When he calls us, we don’t do much net dropping any more, and sometimes we feel that we can just keep doing what we’ve always been doing– only better with God at our side. But Jesus said, ‘Deny yourself, pick up the cross and follow me.’ To follow the voice of the Guide is to let go of our own agenda and throw ourselves towards his. How much more reckless can you get than that?”
*quotes from Reckless Faith. Written by Beth Guckenberger.
*Picture from fotothing.com